ChickaChickaWahWah! Chicken

Falafel and Honey Mustard Encrusted Chicken Strips


Imagine: a chicken strip so sweet and crunchy that you can see a world full of dancing pieces in your dreams. That happened to me with this. Really.

Ok... not really. But I did have a dream about dancing cheese once. And this recipe is still fucking good AND super simple! 

Ingredients:
- 1/4 a bottle of honey mustard salad dressing
- about 3/4 a cup of falafel mix
- boneless skinless chicken, cut up into short strips or large cubes


Set oven at 400 degrees fahrenheit. Prepare a baking sheet with olive oil and set aside. 


In a large plastic bag, such as a large ziplock, place strips of chicken and honey mustard dressing. Shake until the strips are fully coated.


pour falafel mix into a small bowl. Take honey mustard coated chicken strips out of the bag and bread with the falafel mix. Place on prepared baking sheet so that chicken does not overlap. Repeat until you have a GIANT MOUND OF MEDITERRANEAN NOM NOM. 


Allow breaded chicken to sit on the counter for about 10-15 minutes. This will give the falafel mix time to soak up some of the dressing so you won't be eating gross raw chickpeas.

Place in oven for 20-25 minutes, or until insides are fully cooked.

Devour those mofo's like there's no tomorrow. Then tell them 

I bet those monkeys would have played nice if you had spent less time on your hair and made them a piece of this chicken, PETE WENTZ.
Also, let's talk about Kim Kardashian for a second. In 2007 she was in this Fall Out Boy Video as a bimbo whore, and in 2012 she's going to have Kanye's babies. Has she risen or fallen? I really don't know.


This is pretty much the cheapest and most delicious way to make this meal. If you're thinking to yourself, "but I was really looking forward to a meal I could spend hours and hours making the broke way!", spend the extra time you would have spent on this recipe chilling the FUCK out and watch an episode of 30 Rock (an old season, the new ones suck) while eating a big bowl of these. You'll thank me later. 

The Lazy Girl's BBQ Sandwich

So, are you really really hungry but feeling wayyyyy too lazy to ACTUALLY make something? Maybe you have been studying your brains out all day. Maybe it's a Tuesday morning and you spent all night at a bar getting cheap drinks. Maybe you decided today that you life sucks and it's 5 pm and you still haven't left the apartment. Whatever. I don't judge. Those are all the reasons why I made this for lunch a few days ago.


Ingredients:

Sliced turkey
1 or 2 eggs
piece of toast
a lil bit of shredded cheese
A few squirts of BBQ sauce
a few dashed of basil
a dash of olive oil
a few dashes of cayenne if you're feelin spicy.

Don't let Yu-Gi-Oh do it! Scramble your eggs in a bowl, but do not cook them yet. Set aside. 


Place a medium sized pan on medium heat. Add a dash of olive oil and wait a few minutes for the pan to heat up.


While you are waiting, begin toasting your bread, or bagel, or whatever other mass of carbohydrates you are going to reward your body with today. 


Slice, or pick apart with your fingers, the turkey into medium pieces, about the size of two or your fingers. Or about the size of half the iPhone you're using right now to tell your mom your ACTUALLY cooking for yourself!


Place turkey in pan, along with a few squirts of bbq sauce, basil, and cayenne if you so choose. 


Sautee in pan for about 3 minutes. When edges look slightly crispy and golden brown, push to one side of the pan so that it covers no more than half the surface area. 


Place your scrambled eggs on the other side of the pan, next to the cooked turkey. 


With a spatula, continue moving the eggs, on THEIR SIDE. Once eggs are almost fully scrambled, but still a tad mushy, squirt in some bbq and mix everything together. 

POP! Your toast is done! Wow! Great timing! You're awesome! Wanna bang later?


Place turkey and eggs on top of toast, maybe followed by some shredded cheese if you're rich enough. The nacho cheese dip left over from last night's study session that turned into a "let's drink wine" session will do. 

Eat it. 


Or, if you're me, accidentally drop the whole fucking thing on your barely swept floor, grieve on your knees for a few seconds, and make yourself another one.